Introduction
I’m going to talk about if you Should You Have A Second Child.
Did you know that having two kids can help biologically improve your health as parents?
Today I’m going to go over the pros and cons of having a second child in your family. This is our experience as a couple in mid to late 30s and what we think about it. Please note that this may not be similar to your situation, having a second child greatly varies of where you are in life right now and it’s very situational.
Our point of view is entirely based on our living conditions, I’m going to go over the things that may affect your decision below and then we will drill in on the lessons learned so you can have more information to make an educated decision.
I will be breaking this down in three main sections:
- Things that will affect your decision
- Pros and Cons of having a second child
Hoping by the end of this article you will be better equipped with information for such an important decision.
Should You Have A Second Child
There are many things you need to take into account before considering having a second child. Before we go into the pros and cons of having a second child I’m going to introduce some variables that vary from person to person.
Since we are not all in the same stage of our life these things could weigh when making the decision. I will try to briefly mention what those are and how each of those may come into play when the child is born.
The list below are all factors that differentiate between individuals their decision of having a second child:
- Age Group: Depending on what age you and your spouse are this may be easier or more difficult for you. Generally speaking the older you get the more complications arise with the biological and health aspect of the child’s birth
- Marital status: If you are a single mum it’s going to be harder for you to have second child. It may put more strain in the existing child and generally speaking it’s more difficult financially on you.
- Financial status: Based on your job and salary bracket it may be harder for you to support a second child. If you are in a more comfortable financial situation then this is not much of an issue.
- First Childs behavior/age: If your first child is difficult and has a lot of sensitivities and is really attached to you it may create an environment for him of jealousy. Furthermore if the child is grown up the age gap will make any social excursions and day to day tasks more difficult. For example when the older kid will want to go to a movie theater the baby will not be able to do much.
- Free Time: If you are a stay at home mum it will be a lot easier to support and bring up the second child. On the other hand if both you and your spouse have full time jobs then the job will be a bit harder to do this.
- Health Insurance: In some countries raising a child and caring for him medically can be very costly. Particularly in the US this is a big problem healthcare is very pricey and even with a good insurance you may have very high expenses. In Europe where the situation is better healthcare and costs will be lower so it’s easier.
- Parent Agreement: If one of you is against it then really consider before doing it. You should both be honest and have a trusting relationship between you after all the newborn will be reliant on a peaceful marriage.
The list above are just some things to consider before making the decision. Obviously if none of the above is drastically a problem you should always follow your gut and do what you want. Your personal thoughts are much more important than any life conditions. Since the above change easily and can be worked on it’s safe to do what your heart’s will.
Cons Of Having A Second Child
Now that we went over some of the factors to consider before having a second child I’d like to go over some negatives that I have personally experienced when the second one came to birth. Do note some of those are not necessarily bad just inconvenient and may make your life a bit harder. Obviously the joy of having a second child outweighs everything in the list.
I believe being aware of some things that may come into play is going to be useful as it will help you progress as a person and defend against them once and if they arise.
- You will need more space in your house such as potentially an extra room unless you do a smart design and the kids share one. Eventually as they get older that will be a bit harder for them though as they’d need more privacy.
- You will be needing more car space to fit in the kids and the strollers and all the accessories while they are growing up such as sports and leisure equipment.
- More expenses when you travel abroad, your tickets your transportation and everything will go up. Also you will need to be booking a bit bigger rooms at hotels when you go out.
- If you both work you will definitely need more baby sitting which means more money spent there.
- Your food expenses will basically go up since the extra child will be eating and require more food supplies.
- In the first years you will have to cover some costs such as pregnancy, delivery and also buying more supplies such as diapers, baby food etc.
- The school expenses will double as the kid grows up and this could be a big cost for you which means you will need to start saving for them in a fund for when they go to university. Even with scholarships in place they’d have expenses such as accommodation, food, books and some money for leisure.
- Your house supplies will go drastically higher you’d need to do more cleaning, more utensils and even more sitting areas and furniture.
- If you thought your sleep was ok with one child with two you will be sleeping less than ever
- A cycle between sleep exhaustion and picking up after the kids
- You will be getting sick more often than not because your kids will bring in germs and microbes into the house
Now that I gave some perspective on what will change in your life in a not so pleasing way lets drive into the good things that will come out of this.
Pros Of Having A Second Child
The main advantage of having a second child is very personal and can only be realized when you truly become a parent. Having a child in my personal opinion is the best experience you can ever get. Once you start experiencing the things the child does and realize he’s half of you then you will fully comprehend what it’s like to share blood with them.
Since most of you here are already parents I’m not going to say too much about what it’s like to have a child since you already know however I do want to focus on what it’s like to have two. So lets go over a list of things that I have assembled for your disposal and hopefully this will help you make a decision.
- The two kids can play and interact with each other
- They will never be bored and when you go out to parks and social events when they are younger they will be bonded even if they are the opposite sex like mine.
- They learn from each other. The learning curve of my second one has been exponential compared to my first one. He sees my older daughter and learns things from her all the time.
- They can both fit in one car (don’t ask me about a third one that’s a separate article) so you can all go out as a family easily.
- You may be able to share clothing from the older child if they are the same sex. We bought a lot of unisex things such as pjs and we were able to share those.
- You will be able to share baby appliances
- You will be able to share bedding and other household items such as tethers, toys etc
- You already have experience from the first one so everything you do this time will be better
- You will worry less when something happens as you will likely have gotten over the first time parent syndrome
- You can watch them play together, that’s actually one of the cutest things ever and the feeling it gives you is awesome. Yes I think this is a positive as it’s an instant mood changer.
- Your immune system will be stronger as you will be more resistant to viruses since you’d be getting sick a lot (this is a positive and negative)
I tried to list most of the things that have stayed with me, I’m sure the list here is massive and I can go on forever.
Conclusion
If you found Should You Have A Second Child useful and you think it may have helped you please drop me a cheer below I would appreciate it.
If you have any questions, comments please post them below I check periodically and try to answer them in the priority they come in. Also if you have any corrections please do let me know and I’ll update the article with new updates or mistakes I did.
Do you think you will take the plunge and do it?
Again this is entirely personal but I think the pros outweigh the cons. I do not regret having a second child I think it’s a great addition to the family. The real question is would I go for a third one? Well I’ll write about that soon and give you my thoughts on it.
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